it's amazing: the less amount of work i have to do, the longer it takes me to do it.

the longer it takes me, the more anxious i become about getting it done.

however, if i have NO work to do, then i am happy.

if i have a PILE of work to do, then i keep busy and don't have time to think about how much work i have to, until i take little breaks to complain about it.

---

tomorrow amy and i are heading north; first rochester, then mpls. she's turning 26 on saturday!

---

soulseeX, new favorite mac os X slsk client (hooray for the RIAA!) (double hooray for procrastination)

this educational lesson brought to you by dr. j around 10:24 PM |

i feared the worst, but it seems like now that the collective back's up against the wall, the claws have come out and the real fight is about to begin.

this educational lesson brought to you by dr. j around 10:54 PM |

i'm on neurology service. we had a patient recovering from encephalitis on the floor today. young kid, early 20s. one of the things we do is see if they know who they are, where they are, etc.. it's called determining if they're oriented (not oriental).

do you know your name?
"__________" *confidential
where are you right now?
"the hospital."
what city are you in?
"madison."
what's today's date?
"january.. something."
good enough. what year is it?
"oh-five."
who's the president?
(pause)
"george fuckin' bush."

right about then would have been a perfect moment for a very non-politically correct (but politics-ally correct) comment about wanting to go back to sleep for a long, long, time.

true story.

this educational lesson brought to you by dr. j around 9:55 PM |

no more coalition of the willing. i like the bit about how a group from iceland took out a full page ad in the NYT apologizing for supporting US policy. now that's patriotism. kinda like a national version of sorryeverybody.com.

the white house is gearing up to drop another $80-100 billion on this very worthy war which has turned up nothing but is still right. also, we're thinking about kicking $1 billion to those poor saps over in SE asia. we spend 100 times as much on liberation and democracy by way of murder and deception as we do on disaster relief and humanitarian aid. fucking assholes.

and as far as being greeted as liberating heroes with flowers in the streets, here are your open arms and undying thanks.

thanks for nothing.

this educational lesson brought to you by dr. j around 6:06 PM |

the time seemed to drag yesterday. i think i wound myself before every anticipated presentation, only to have each one unfold in a rather unexpected manner. the first one didn't even happen. the residents kinda forgot about it, they took too long doing some other things, and before they knew it, it was time for lunch and we were done. so they just marked it off on our skills log thing (yes, we have one of those. it's like we're earning a merit badge) and we were sent on our way.

the second presentation barely happened. i was the last to go out of 4 students (because i had the most complicated patient, so he wanted to save mine for last). there were 2 hours slotted for the entire talk. it was my turn with about 15 minutes to go. i barely said anything, the attending was so busy interrupting me (he interrupted everyone). check two off for the day.

i immediately headed to the neurology conference room for the third presentation of the day, but not before making a bathroom stop. by the time i walked into the room, i was one of the last students to arrive. i was still pulling my papers out of my bag as i was being introduced. i didn't even have time to think about being nervous, and suddenly, i'm presenting and then it was over.

huh.

i came home last night with high hopes of going out and getting good and fired up. erin's in town, and so is soup, and tomorrow's schlarb's birthday. but instead i heated up some leftovers and proceeded to pass out on the couch about 3 times before going to bed at 11pm. i think i exhausted myself this week from sheer worry. that explains why i'm up so early on a saturday.

while tidying up the living room this morning, i found two DVDs that amy had rented from blockbuster... the day after new year's... on my card. FUCK. and they're from the state street blockbuster, which means i have to park and walk. in this snowstorm. FUCK. and they called me about a week and a half ago, to tell me they were going to kill me if i didn't return these soon. i'm so dead.

and one for the road: inauguration protest pics, via metafilter.

this educational lesson brought to you by dr. j around 9:12 AM |

i have 3 presentations to give tomorrow.

1. neuroradiology: present a case using imaging studies. mine is on hypertensive cerebral hemorrhage.

2. neuro-rehabilitation: present a case on an inpatient, outline therapeutic plan and discuss long term complications. my guy had a subdural and epidural hemorrhage. ouch.

3. multi-disciplinary case conference: present to the entire neuro-rotation-cadre of students and to staff, on the topic of amaurosis fugax and its differential.

i think i'm all set, but of course i'm going to be antsy and probably lose sleep and be all out of wack tomorrow. i'm stoked for the weekend.

not stoked: missing the o.c. tonight and forgetting to tape it. next: attempt to find and download the said episode.

even less stoked: the world, on the prospect of the next four years. (from the guardian.)

Mr Bush also proclaimed his inauguration as "a sign of hope for freedom-loving people everywhere".

In Britain, 64% of those polled said they disagreed with the proposition that the US would have a mainly positive impact on the world. The figures were even higher in France (75%) and Germany (77%).

Mr Bush's victory was viewed positively in only three of the 21 countries: the Philippines, Poland and India.

Mr Bush's job approval rating stands at 50%, with 47% disapproving. In recent times, only Richard Nixon at the start of his second term in 1972 recorded poll ratings as poor.

and wanna puke? yeah, i thought you would. it'll be a miracle if i make it through the next four years without developing an ulcer.

in the meanwhile: the video for "we will become silhouettes" by the postal service (link via stereogum, again), directed by jared hess, who directed/wrote/starred in napoleon dynamite. the video reminds me of an MST3K episode. in color. and it doesn't really make any sense. but i think they're having a space picnic in the desert. or something. and jenny lewis cleans up real nice-like.

this educational lesson brought to you by dr. j around 8:55 PM |

it's snowing in madison. there was an accident at the corner of west wash and regent, thereby allowing me no passage to my home. so i had to take the long way around, which took FO-EVA since everyone was terrified of the snow so they drove 2mph.

i think i have seasonal affective disorder or something.

so anyway. i've been feeling particularly anxious about this whole undiscovered-love-for-ophthalmology thing. ths interest i've had in peds hem/onc has stemmed largely from the ordeal my cousin went through, and the noble view i had of the entire field. however, the pediatrics rotation at UW was absolutely miserable, and if i didn't have that streak of nobility driving me, i think i would have straight up hated it. but it was that look to the endpoint that kept me going and convinced me that even though the rotation blew ass, it would still be AWESOME to go into the field.

but with ophtho, i was excited about it right away, enjoyed it immensely, and actually found it FUN. here's the rub: peds is one of the EASIEST fields to go into. it competes with family practice for the slot of the easiest residency to match into, with the most lenient requirements. that's what i'm talking about.

ophtho is on the tougher side. granted, it's no radiation oncology or orthopedic surgery or diagnostic radiology or neurosurgery or anything, but it is pretty selective. i am not groomed for this sort of thing. i do not have the accolades. enthusiasm, i have. research credentials and published articles, i do not. guess what counts for more?

i guess we'll find out.

this educational lesson brought to you by dr. j around 9:44 PM |

real quick-like:

the new beck album, leaked and bootlegged. (totally hott)

arcade fire live on morning becomes eclectic.

both links via stereogum.

now i have to go back to the hospital to sit in a darkroom and point at CT scans of brains and spinal cords. mmmm.

this educational lesson brought to you by dr. j around 2:18 PM |

man i have a lot of reading to do.

so bush FINALLY admits it. there are no WMDs, there were no WMDs, and saddam's capacity for making WMDs has been dwindling for at least the past decade. pretty much exactly what all the crazy gay atheist liberals have been saying all along. has anyone else noticed that nobody seems to be making a big deal about this? i know i've been busy, but i noticed no press conference or major headlines about this admission. nor am i even the least bit surprised that bush still believes the war was worth it. does this imply that the war is over? what if this drags on for the next 10 years? is it still worth it? where do you draw the line?

i am fuming but because i've been working/studying all day long i don't have the energy nor the mental capacity to type it all out. nor would it be terribly entertaining to read. i would repeat myself alot and call that nimrod a bunch of derogatory names which would make me feel better just for a little while, and really affect no positive change in the long run whatsoever.

so i'll make it quick: way to blow it, president chimpy.

this educational lesson brought to you by dr. j around 2:11 AM |

it's pouring rain outside. this is wisconsin, in the middle of january - what's with all the rain? can't complain though, the car is getting a free wash.

working at the med school right now; i have a couple presentations to give on friday plus a meeting with one of the docs i work with, which means even more articles to read and stuff to be on top of. which wouldn't be all too bad, except that tomorrow from 5-10pm i have a CPR training course. i have no idea why it will take 5 hours but i suspect that i will be spending most of it learning how to make out with a dummy, and then proceeding to practice that which i will have just learned. also, the course will consume the bulk of my evening and i won't have a whole lot of time for getting work done.

ophthalmology has been really cool so far. having a clinic day from 8:30am-4pm is the life. i don't know how fulfilling i would find this field for a career, but i am really enjoying it. at least ophtho clinic is pretty hands-on: there's lots of instruments and machines and gadgets to use in the eye exam. other clinics, it's a lot of talking and paperwork. pediatric ophthalmology doesn't seem to be quite as noble as pediatric hem/onc, however, it is far more difficult to match into ophtho than peds. and given my academic and medical background, matching into optho would be quite the long shot. i guess we'll see how things pan out.

this educational lesson brought to you by dr. j around 8:16 PM |

this past week was spent as a part of the neurosurgery team. it was one of the busiest, toughest weeks i've had since i've started medical school. and it was easily one of the coolest and most interesting as well.

we students would try to get in by 5am or so, have our notes in on the chart by 5:45am, and would leave by 7pm on average. we took one night of overnight call, but were given no post-call leave, meaning that we stayed a full day the next day. this translates into one 38 hour shift, which wouldn't have been so bad if that's how the team worked, except that the resident who was on call got to go home by noon. for some reason, the medical students (who are never given positions of consequence and are not allowed to do anything of importance) are required to stay an extra 7-8 hours after the resident.

the surgeries we saw were really amazing though. i saw about 4 brain surgeries, and at least that many cranial operations where they didn't actually operate on the brain. the technology used for these procedures is so advanced. the stereotactic imaging system really blew my mind, though. they place a frame on the patient's head and scan it all in an MRI machine. the computer then uses the frame to map out the patient's brain to certain reference points. then, in the OR, an enormous infrared camera/computer can match the MRI to the live patient, using a stereotactic probe. in other words, when the probe is held to a certain point on the patient's head in the OR, the computer displays what it looks like underneath using MRI technology. it's pretty amazing stuff.

tomorrow i start on ophthamology for a week. i'm looking forward to this mostly because the hours are so cush. 8:30am-4pm, plus lecture, which i am debating if i will attend. compared to this past week, i feel like i'm going to be on vacation.

--

i added some pictures to flickr, from my trip to london last spring.

this educational lesson brought to you by dr. j around 11:55 PM |

it has been a busy and relatively blog-free start to the new year. i aim to catch up the faithful in increments. i've decided against my conventional approach, which is to write a loooong post detailing everything that i have neglected to write about, that nobody wants to read, especially when presented in rough-draft-of-novela format that would take far too long to wade through. so, baby steps.

new year's eve did not go as planned. plans were modified up until the last minute. the original plan was to head to chicago, then it was decided that we'd drive up to the twin cities, but finally we elected to just stay in madison because 1) amy didn't get home from work until almost 4:30pm on NYE, 2) the impending ice storm that threatened to trap us in whatever city we drove to, 2a) the fact that d, janice, and i all needed to be back in madison in a timely manner for our regularly scheduled programming, 3) we became very lazy at the last minute.

we still enjoyed ourselves though.

you can see the pictures here.



next step: recounting the past week on neurosurgery.


today's thank-god-i-don't-have-to-wake-up-at-4am listening:
phoenix - united
erlend oye - dj kicks
annie - anniemal
lindsay lohan - speak (seriously)

this educational lesson brought to you by dr. j around 11:21 AM |

with the arrival of a digital camera also comes the arrival of an internets where the digital photos may be uploaded and shared for the vast readership, of which i'm sure i'm totally overestimating.

anyway, you'll notice the link on the right.

this educational lesson brought to you by dr. j around 10:21 PM |

i'd upload more pictures if only:

1. flickr wasn't such a slow bitch
2. i wasn't on neurosurgery

sucks

this educational lesson brought to you by dr. j around 8:16 PM |